Interlude

Getting a man on the inside will be key to gaining access to New Camelot's critical systems. If co-opting someone already in place, look for the trusted outsider, the harmless puppy-dog whom no one could suspect of perfidy.


"This is the craziest plan I have ever seen. And I say that as someone who once painted herself in camo from head to toe and hung out nude in the back yard for two straight days.”

Why?

“Well, there’s the part of the plan that revolves around dog poop.”

“No, I mean, why hang out naked in the back yard?”

“Why not hang out naked in the back yard? But, practice."

"Hah, you said 'butt practice'! She totally said that."

"Vivian, what does that even mean? Sometimes I wonder which one of us is really the eighteen-year-old. Robin, if you don't like it, do you have a better idea?"

"I didn't say I didn't like it. I said it was crazy. I'm in. I just hope I can stick the shot, with my head still a little foggy thanks to a rifle butt to the back of it hint hint all is not forgiven and yes I said 'butt' again."

"I said I was sorry."

"And I've moved on. You both realize that we are talking about a plan that hinges entirely on a dog, right?"

"Yes, Vivian, for the third time."

"I just wanted to make sure you realized that. Because it's crazy."

"But he’s suchagoodboywhosagoodboy? Sister, I've known you for about twenty minutes and I can see you're not all in. Why don't you just go ahead and say what's on your mind?"

"Okay blondie, here it is: this is basically treason. We’ll be targeting U.S. Government personnel transporting crime scene evidence.”

“Personnel who have no business having said evidence, since they have no domestic or law enforcement authority. Marion is- was a lawyer: he taught me a thing or two. If anybody in the Government should have that hard drive, it’s the FBI. Your boys aren’t doing this officially. They’re misappropriating Agency vehicles and equipment for their own purposes. Isn’t that right and oh don’t you wuv dee tummy scratches?”

“That’s not how it’s going to play out if this goes wrong. You’ve seen the news? After his big save up at the Capitol, Arthur is everybody’s darling. He’s being courted on both sides of the aisle, and he’s barely done with his wife’s funeral. He's super hot right now. I saw on the internet that there’s going to be a documentary about his counterterrorism successes. Arthur's going to be the freakin’ President. You think a little misappropriation of government vehicles is going to sway anybody? You may scare racist cops and corporate fat cats, but this is a whole different level. Some of us have things we were planning to do with our lives that can't be satisfied at women's only correctional institutions.”

“‘Things’ or ‘people’ you were planning to do? Would you describe your sex addiction as 'pathological', or just 'unhealthy'?"

“Robin, you didn’t see him up close. I don’t care about the surfer hair: you’d understand if you’d felt his abs."

"Anyway, it’s like I told you: I’ve got a contact at the FBI’s Washington Field Office. I helped Agent Street out when Frankenstein was flushing the area with tainted drugs that were giving people seizures. He knows that the CIA is conducting an internal sting operation to look into serious abuses by senior officials. He's a little huffy, but he owes me one, and this one's juicy.”

“So the FBI will be joining us on this little escapade? Great, now I really feel good about this.”

“We work with what we have. Cavill, don’t you dare hump her leg. All right, we’ve got two hours before they move the hard drive with Moriarty’s program. Smart money says they’re going to have Doyle’s drones overhead, and if Vivian’s right they’ll have an escort vehicle on the ground. Everybody’s going to be armed to the teeth. Nobody wants a shootout, but they’re expecting Moriarty to make a move, so they'll be on edge. Any weirdness will be risky. This is the only thing I could figure that doesn't involve bloodshed.”

“Gwen, I get that you need this thing to bring your dad back. But you’re going to give it to freakin’ Frankenstein! Isn’t it better in Arthur’s hands?”

“Have you ever heard of Site Grey Fog? That's where Arthur said they were taking it."

"No, and I wasn’t supposed to see that: I’m good at reading things that are upside-down.”

“Must be all that time you spend on your back.”

“I’m flexible, but don’t hate on missionary. Name notwithstanding, it sounds like a black site. The place where things go when they need to disappear."

"Where they make people disappear, you mean, when they want to waterboard them. But not widdle puppy dogs wiv the jerky legs, no, not dem!"

"Vivian, do not say 'bad people' or so help me I will scream. And I know that all the black sites are supposed to be closed, direct order of the Director of National Intelligence, blah, blah, blah. Here's my point: Arthur is taking crime scene evidence somewhere for it to disappear, even though it in no way implicates him, Personae, or New Camelot, and is misusing Agency resources to do it, possibly to include operating a covert site on U.S. soil. That's actually several crimes, even if they're mostly minor ones. He's doing this because he wants to control what he doesn't understand. He and his Knights ran around in full combat gear in downtown DC yesterday! They were nervous about a run-in with the police, and they should have been; can you imagine? Maybe he believes he's serving the greater good, maybe he actually is, but he's breaking the rules to do it. What's he going to break if he becomes President? I’ll take my chances with Vic. He doesn't have any delusions of morality.”

“… Okay. I don’t like it, but I haven’t liked a lot of things in the last thirty-six hours. Besides, I know you’re going to do this with or without me, so at least this way I can say I told you so when it all goes to hell.”

“You’re a peach, Viv. Also, we need somebody to call the route and get the transmitter in place, so we kind of couldn’t do it without you. Robin, will your boys be ready?"

"Oh yeah. They're feeling really good about this. Stealing from the CIA is new for them."

"You both realize that we are talking about a plan that hinges entirely on a dog, right? A dog pooping on cue?"

“It’s not so much a ‘cue’ as it is a ‘radio signal’ when they come within range. Where’s the baggie with the alka-seltzer and the remote. Okay, thanks. Let’s see, the bottle promises a bowel movement within four hours, so if we double the dosage… Come on, buddy, front and center. Come on, take the pill... taaaake the pill... Ugh. Robin, did you bring that cheese like I asked?"

“You bet. Extra stinky.”

“That’s my girl.”